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Granted, but while pulling up to a station which is selling gas for $2.60 gal, another racing vehicle spots the deal at the same time you do. As you both rev your engines to let the other know intentions on securing the final spot, a top-secret terrorist attack that has taken over 20 years to coordinate is finally executed. Every major gas station chain has had their installation facilities breached, and all replaced tanks in the last 10 years have had small detonation devices hidden inside of various underground tanks in America.

After being out-maneuvered to the last spot for this unbelievably cheap deal in gas, you hear on your radio that another tragic loss in "race" history has also occurred. Hilary Clinton is now the first female president. While giving the speech, ELF activists set off their intricate plan, wiping hundreds of thousands of people, as well as their vehicles off of their Planet Earth in one swift attack.

You survived, but a few miles away, en-route to a soccer game, your only son and wife are ripped away from you. The family you helped raise, maintain, and loved are victims of ELFs biggest attack. All of the memories you made, as well as the love the three of you shared is no more. All of this could have been prevented once before, but the racing leagues in our nation refused to stop wasting crude oils on their redneck, boring ass sport.

You had a direct hand in killing your own family, due to your love for speeding.


I wish I didn't eat Taco Bell last night.