Granted, but while pulling up to a station which is selling gas for $2.60 gal, another racing vehicle spots the deal at the same time you do. As you both rev your engines to let the other know intentions on securing the final spot, a top-secret terrorist attack that has taken over 20 years to coordinate is finally executed. Every major gas station chain has had their installation facilities breached, and all replaced tanks in the last 10 years have had small detonation devices hidden inside of various underground tanks in America.

After being out-maneuvered to the last spot for this unbelievably cheap deal in gas, you hear on your radio that another tragic loss in "race" history has also occurred. Hilary Clinton is now the first female president. While giving the speech, ELF activists set off their intricate plan, wiping hundreds of thousands of people, as well as their vehicles off of their Planet Earth in one swift attack.

You survived, but a few miles away, en-route to a soccer game, your only son and wife are ripped away from you. The family you helped raise, maintain, and loved are victims of ELFs biggest attack. All of the memories you made, as well as the love the three of you shared is no more. All of this could have been prevented once before, but the racing leagues in our nation refused to stop wasting crude oils on their redneck, boring ass sport.

You had a direct hand in killing your own family, due to your love for speeding.


I wish I didn't eat Taco Bell last night.

"I wish I didn't eat Taco Bell last night."

Granted, but you ate a dogs testicle instead.



I wish a had a BIG house.

granted but u are stuck in one room with a dog u are naked and the dog tries to hump u

i wish i wasnt sooo bored

lmfao...wow

Granted, you are suddenly very intrigued with all the available animal pr0n online.

I wish i could play anything perfectly on guitar

Granted, but your musical taste has all of a sudden become horrible, and all you WANT to play is Bob Marley and Avril Lavigne.


I wish that no more ricers with civics would rev their engine at my evo and try to race me.

( I won't waste my gas on you! )

granted but you have to eat nothing but philly cheese steaks and drink warm delicious milk. (No icky Soy cheese)

I wish I had a nice fur jacket made out of innocent, baby seal fur.

Granted, but the seal blood is still on it, you're in the middle of a forest, and a bear smells you, and all of a sudden is very interested in you . . .

I wish the President would fall down the stairs and look really stupid

Granted, but he falls on you end result lokkin like he givin to ya from behind


I wish these wannabe vicadins would actually work

Granted, but they work for 1 minute, and then you're back to the hellhole you were just in.

I wish guys wouldn't wear girl pants.