Granted, but your vocal cords are ripped out, your eyes put out, and your hands cut off so you have no way of communicating the knowledge to anyone.

I wish I could graduate from college this year.

Granted, but you find out that the diploma/degree is bogus as the school is a fraud and none of the credits are transferrable.

I wish it never got below 50 degrees Fahrenheit

Than it isn't granted

Granted, but it never goes below 150 degrees F either

I wish I could move things with my mind

granted. you can move your arms, legs, head, any body part, but you are too weak to effect the outer world.

i wish we didn't need sleep

Granted. Instead you have to be plugged into a receptacle

I wish to end world poverty

Granted, but you do so by killing half the globe.

I wish I were magically and went to Hogwarts.

Granted, but you are best friends with Neville and you are a half breed, your wand is in the form of a dildo, and every magic jelly bean you eat tastes of Dumbledores muff.

I wish I could fly.

Granted, but when u fly u cant breathe

I wish the sky was always blue

granted but your balls are constantly "blue" as well

i wish i could have a 10 minute orgasm